16 dating a 23 year old
The book is an oldie but goodie, many clinicians refer to this book.She also has a book called Letting Go, daily meditations for codependent- uplifting daily messages to read.The girl does not always know what hit her- but becomes so hooked on someone- believing they can change or save that person. His relationship with his adoptive parents are "OK".I always tell my daughter that you can't fix people yet until you fix yourself.
She may lose herself in these relationships; not see things clearly as she typically would. This type of guy can see the sweetness, innocence, and vulnerablity in girls and tend to "pray" on that. The boyfriend before this one came from a broken family and was mentally and physically abused (not beaten badly) by his father. He stated that he stayed at his father house to make sure his brother did not get hurt. Trying to take care of his dying mother(biological), His biological siblings are a mess.You would hope that she is struggling she would seek out those who love her.WE have tried so hard to make her see but the more we try the father away she goes. She is so smart and talented it would be devastating to all of us.I tell her to concentrate on her...feels like I talke to a wall.
No one can tell her to see differently right now- her reality is much different than you or her father's.
She likely sees your efforts to help her as trying to control her- she thinks you are in the wrong- when that is so untrue, hard to convince her otherwise.