Parents and dating rules
(Drugs also come into so- called dating.) If our kids hang with a crowd that don't date, it's easier.
We're all in this together Dec 2001 I would like to hear from parents about what kind of parameters they set for dating for 16 year old girls --particularly sexually active ones who ( in addition to being great kids) can be defiant, unreliable, do not tell the truth and have various emotional problems for which they are in treatment/ on medication.
I guess that is what I would most emphasize: share with her your genuine concern that she make choices that support her and tell her that to that end you will set certain rules with certain consequences, but then acknowledge her responsibility for being the one who ultimately will make these decisions. PS - Alanon might be supportive for you as the parent, even if she is not using any substances, the issues are close enough.
So I must ask first: What is it that you hope to accomplish with your rules?
Past efforts to monitor a dating situation have failed, either because of being lied to or because of being let down by a past boyfriend's dad who promised to supervise if the two spent time at his house when he WAS there and did not. Knowing I cannot control what she does, I want to set age- appropriate parameters and attempt to hold her to them. Also, these parameters cannot be based on expecting truthfulness or abstinence.
When adults approached me in this way when I was a teen, they made the most impact.
It's unclear to me what your goals are, and this is the first step in setting up guidelines or procedures of any sort.
It sounds from your message as if you are conflicted with regard to your goal.
I'm generally very liberal but not when it comes to early dating.
Our daughter has a nice social life and is not suffering by not dating solo.
I am only speaking from experience my daughter, found herself pregnant at 14 and although it brought us closer together emotionally, it was not a pleasant experience.