Rule for dating a younger person
Yet not too long ago, if a woman dated a man just 3-5 years younger than herself, she faced disgust and outrage.
Back then, she'd have been called a 'cradle robber.' Why does this double standard exist? I really think it has to do with who's losing ground in this whole thing.
Older women tend to take the relationship as it comes and see how it develops.
Most 'cougar' dating websites treat women as if we're simply sexual toys; they don't take the whole woman into account. What did you want to create in Toyboy Warehouse that you had not found on other existing sites?
In fact, I know on our site it's the young men who are chasing the women. They're independent, attractive, but they're not pouncing on young men. Women who routinely date younger men have told me it's not as if either side is asking about their partner's age. Women are looking fantastic; they're looking better than before and taking care of their bodies. Many women say it doesn't apply to them at all.
In fact, they say that age doesn't come up in the discussion. It's not like 10-15 years ago when a woman over 45 found herself abandoned by a husband who had left her for some young secretary. They wouldn't want to be called a cougar and never refer to themselves as cougars.
More and more women are acknowledging their sexuality which before they had to keep in a closed closet.
And older white men don't like the kind of freedom that women have been gaining because they don't have so much power anymore.
Three years later, the site is so successful she's planning to launch a US version of Toyboy Warehouse in late 2010 in the New York City area.Thinking that there had to be a better way, in 2007 she founded a UK dating website with a deliberately sassy, tongue-in-cheek name -- Toyboy -- where members abide by one simple rule: that women date men at least a year younger, and men date women at least a year older.Nowhere on the website is the word 'cougar' ever used.For women, it's been very restricting and socially unacceptable until fairly recently -- although I do think it's been going on longer in a more secretive way for women to date younger men.
And I don't mean to be racist about this, but it tends to be older white men that are upset.I spoke with Julia Macmillan about the cougar stereotype, the reasons why it persists even as women reject the term in growing numbers, and whether there's greater cultural acceptance in the UK or the US toward older female/younger male relationships.